Think no one reads here already. So let me made some confession.

I made myself not to think about him after knowing he has patched up with his gf le.
but somehow, think a friend has sensed I'm still hoping for him.

I thought I was not. After today, I realize I am.
Just on last Sunday, I happened to see him when I out with my dear gals.
Very shocked and didn't really expected to him at all.
But still managed to hold back the feeling.

Then earlier, had a chat with him. Without knowing, it seems I always looking forward to chat with him. SO delighted when I saw him online and I put up a sad face.

He instantly msg me, asking why and praise my new pic nice again haha.
I told him about my sch project and he listened and sayang me.
He said I going to fly off soon, then I test water saying, ya lor but u also wont miss mi right?
He immediately replied Miss
Ask him wanna to send mi off on sat, he said wait shen bu de~

Sigh, his replies do make me confuse.
Imagine that time he mentioned wanna bring me out, which I was looking forward to.
When he said he miss me, I didnt realize I had gotten attracted to him.
And last mth he was so bz with work, lost his mobile and change mobile no, I had sms the wrong mobile no -.-' sigh, until finally I took the courage to ask him out through facebook, then told me he just patched with his ex. SIGH!

even ex realizes I'm seems different, so excited about this guy.
Well, think I should go concentrate on projects for now and dun care about it for now ba. Maybe should look forward to meet him when I'm BACK.

HAHAHHAHAHAHA =X

The decision's painful for both of us as we do not bear to leave each other but we do not wish to drag the relationship so we end it with tears, hugs & kisses.
This truly sound dramatic

Despite he saying if gt a chance again, he would be afraid to try again
But I am thinking, if that is to be happened, most likely I will choose to marry him

Currently I have lacked of time due to studies yet I am trying hard to share my time equally for my friends, my family & him.
I do not wish to give up any one of them yet he mentioned that I seem to be treating friends better than him.
Maybe it's true in the past few months as I was very stressed about him. Everything I did seem to be wrong and he's not happy about it. And he shows his temper, attitude, etc. Due to this, I wanna to run away, I wanna to hide and this result in frozen my feelings for him

I know he gave up a lot of stuff and I feel I am very selfish to hold on everything I have.
Everyone is so dear to me, how am I suppose to give up any of them? Meeting him for a short while doesn't mean I don't care, but time is really short and I wanna to treasure everyone. But i still feel hurtful about those words he said on that dreadful sat. I wanna to study and meet him in the evening to spend time with him and to relax myself but end up I feeling even more stress.
I believe this is the one of the perspectives which we share differently and something which caused my frozen feelings.

I had a few hours of chat with Roy. And he highlights that I still have feelings for oink oink cause I seem to be happy that he actually care a lot of my future. And all the while I was thinking oink oink never think deep into our future as he seems to be seeing things steps by steps only. I been asking him such questions before but he seems to telling me answer which I'm sad to hear.

Though the ending of this relationship does not cause any one of us to have hard feelings but I still looking for possibility to look back for the feeling. Am I silly?

Some friends ask me to go for another guy while the rest say I can still patch up with oink oink. But I really wish oink oink can tell me more things directly as before we are together. I know he has some burden but he wont share until yesterday then he said out that he is sad that he is unable to get things I want, wonders whether I will suffer if I'm with him etc. I been mentioning a lot time I can don't mind those stuff if he allows me to share his load with him. I know a lot things if he tells me, I will feel sad but then I wanna to know.

Maybe being back to friends is a new start for us, we will get to know each other even better or do things which we never did before.
For the time being I will not take out the photo out of my wallet. No matter what is his status, he is still someone dear to me who is in part of my life. I love you still.

baby can u hold me tighter?
i scare i might just walk away when i  dun sense anything from u
despite knowing you're tired but i still expecting something from u =(
haiz very silly of me

Alot bad things happened but think I should just bear in mind the good things :)

Thank you baby counting down to my birthday,
Thank you everyone for the wishes
Thank you daddy, mummy for the surprise cake. It was really surprise that I hide and cried =x
Thank you korkor for sms to me despite you're oversea.

*muack, ~love ya all keke ^^

Hee, thanks baby companying me today
cause thought my parent will be out whole day, heng nv ask him come over haha
end up they 4+ home le hahaha, they said too tired hee

Up is quite nice, in the first part, it's about the younger days of the grandpa, how he met her, his dearest wife and what they had done together.
I was in tears when the cute granny passed away  =(
baby was stunned haha

Then it shows how grandpa been living
and on the day, he was supposed to be send to an old folk home, he ended up flying off with his house.
he was planning to fly to Paradise Falls, the most beautiful place on earth, which was his dream of his wife to live there.

So off he goes with his journey with little up and downs and interesting things
Hee~

Ya bought something for baby hee he likes it :p
look nice on him haha
alright think sleeping soon already hee
night ppl

Seriously, i was in the mood to tease him, waiting for an answer
even a most boring answer like no comment also do.
Yet he keep dun answer and choose to say something does it concern you??

How come it feel we are becoming distanced suddenly???
Kao he can infront of me talk cock the thing with his friends, but nw he cant.
It makes mi puzzle? I'm asking him whether he's sian of him, he says no, then say when i'm doing things, he dun wan to disturb me then find his own stuff to do become I say he dun care abt me.

I said he dun care abt me cause keep play game, even a gal like da jie also can feel upset about over her hubby. Then how about a gal like me more fragil like her feel, despite I was a gamer?
Where's those small talks we can always have in the past? He said he didnt change? but doesnt this is a sign of changing yet he duno.

haiz
i really gt a dumb bf, even though I thought of breaking up so many times but i choose nt too cause I dun bear this silly boy.
But how come he make mi cry again
haiz. I feel so lonely.

baby at ict, while i'm rotting and sian with my assignment and project
working and handling is quite tiring

i keep think of baby, but i know he cant always company me, i'm sad
somehow i'm sad not cause he's nt companying me. just worry something pull us apart :(
hope he can hold me tight

Woot time really flies, so fast 1 yr le hee
He kept mi in secret that he bought blue roses for mi:)
hee by right he wanna to send over to my office but haiz i'm on mc...
had very bad flu.. but i'm okie with the rose lol
faint... so funny of mi haha

At least he's trying to cheer me up as I had a bad days for quite number of days.
Thanks baby ^^

lol sheryl dear knows i never blog recently

hmmm i hurt my right hand, i can type but when i use mouse it's very pain
the muscle at my arm swollen =( i still wonder how i bump/hurt it

seriously didnt wan take mc end up taking mc -.-
cause is pain n i need to rest more to recover lor
somemore i tue take leave to rest, wed alot pain, thurs worse -.- so there i am 2 day mc :(

the past mth is abit hell for me, my emotion went hay wired
think i over stress with work and family stuff le
sigh, so have to juggle more careful as my timetable also very pack & work schedule & my bro cmf going taiwan in may
>.< !!! so many things to handle sigh

need to relax more ^^
last sat watch race to the witch mountain, woot veri exciting show...
need to escape from military and alien, *run, run~
it's worth watching ^^ alot actions hee

anyway 1 yr Anniversary coming next mth & tat's fast :)
hee alot ppl thought me and baby together for years le lol
so funny :)

he dun bully me can le haha...
next week buy the things he wants:) *muack

gross lol as usual cant angry long when i see him.
lol... okie it happened like he's still moody, but he trying not to loose temper so he did something else.
first see it so feel very weird about it...

Watch Marley & Me, it's nice and I cried.
A heart warming story and at the same time funny. How much love there can be between the couple and their dog. A realistic reflection of marriage life too. Great movie and worth watching.

after dinner, i bought jos's birthday present already:P even though is 3 mths away
hee muhaha it's nice nice but shall not say wat it is, incase she reads here :P
sry dear, 3 mths later then u will know...

now need to crack my head about the special day and shafa's present ahhaha
:P